Laura Occasionally Blogs

It was nice all day and then the minute I step off the train at my stop, there's a crash of thunder, and it starts howling wind and sheeting down rain. It's walks home like those when you wish you remembered more of the Lear act III speech than "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!" I think there's something about drowning cocks in there but beyond that I got nothin'.

Anyway, on to All's Well!


Act II, Scene 2: A short palate-cleanser sketch comedy bit with the Countess and Lavatch which I can image actually being kind of funny. Lavatch claims he would be a good courtier because he's come up with the universal response to anything: "Oh Lord, sir!" I imagine it being said in a Sir Percy Blakeney drawl.

Act II, Scene 3: The king is well again! He lines up some courtiers for Helena's approval. She of course chooses Bertram. Bertram objects heartily, but the king insists, threatening to have Bertram executed if his orders are not followed. Bertram finally submits and he and Helena are rushed off to the chapel.

Have I mentioned Lord Lafew yet? He's been in a few scenes, mostly giving exposition. He seems to be both a friend of Countess Rossillion and a member of the court, so he's useful like that. Anyway, we watch him pick on Parolles for awhile, and then he leaves and Bertram comes back on, fresh from what was the most whirlwind play wedding ever: offscreen in the middle of a scene! He swears he will never consummate the marriage. Parolles suggests running away to the wars.

Thoughts: Oh man. I have so much to say about Scene 3, so I'll just start from the beginning, shall I?

'That's it I would have said, the very same' (lines 1-38) We open with a comedy routine: Lafew aka Basil Exposition is trying to explain the king's miraculous recovery to Bertram, and Parolles keeps butting in with useful statements like "Right, so I say" and "Just, you say well; so would I have said." (He also utters the fake French exclamation, "Mor du vinager!") It's funny just on the page; I imagine it can be played up for abundant yuks. And, like most Parolles scenes, this could go a couple of ways depending on how smart you think he is. It could be played either Parolles-as-idiot, genuinely trying to come off as smart and knowledgeable, or Parolles-as-self-aware-goofball, purposely clowning around and parodying Lafew. A somewhat related decision: is Parolles primarily interacting with Bertram or Lafew here? Is he trying mainly to impress/get attention from Bertram, or to annoy/lampoon Lafew? Later in the scene we get plenty of evidence of both Parolles's affection for Bertram and his feud with Lafew, so both ways work.

'To bring me down / Must answer for your raising' (lines 94-108) Okay, so Bertram rejects Helena, and he's pretty bitchy about it: "A poor physician's daughter my wife? Disdain / Rather corrupt me ever!" But laying aside his poor choice in objections, I do sympathize with him, at least in theory. I sympathize with Helena too--her pursuit of the sweet-faced boy is a noble one--but look at it from Bertram's point of view. Here he is going along his life, trying to be master of his own destiny (when people aren't telling him he's too young to do what he wants), and he's told he has to marry this girl, or else! He doesn't like her and he doesn't respect her, and maybe his reasons for that aren't so hot if you're not into the class system, but he still has the right (or should) to choose not to marry someone he's not into. He's being backed into a corner here, so he gets a pass on some assholery. I mean, if the genders were reversed, modern sympathies would clearly be on the side of the poor girl being forced into a marriage she doesn't want.

'Good alone / Is good without a name' (lines 109-136) The king gives a big speech about how blood and breeding are not that important: titles and money he can give, but goodness is inherent, and both good and vileness can be found in any walk of life. It seems like a really weird speech for a king to be giving, but maybe his recent brush with death made him more aware of the fragility of his place on the wheel of fortune.

'My honour's at stake' (lines 137-175) Okay, all this arguing and speechifying, and Bertram still refuses to take Helena's hand. Helena, who's been silent (and probably miserable) since she first selected Bertram, jumps in with "That you are well restored, my lord, I'm glad. Let the rest go." I think this is a really important line--her willingness to back down at this point shows (one or both of) compassion for him and respect for herself, key qualities for Helena to have if I'm going to like her.

But it's too late, at this point, for anyone to back down. It's a question of obedience now: the king can't let Bertram get away with objecting or he'll look weak. That's the trouble, I guess, when you get kings involved in your personal affairs.

'I think thou wast created for men to breathe themselves upon thee' (lines 176-241) While everyone else is offstage dealing with the whirlwind wedding, Lafew picks a fight with Parolles which I find both mystifying and fascinating. It doesn't seem like Parolles has really done anything to Lafew (that we know of) except be slightly annoying, but Lafew seems so bitter and hateful.

It's at this point that I decided to see a subtext where Lafew was once in love with Parolles and is now angry at him for slutting around and taking up with Bertram, and I'm pretty sure at this point that I'm reading the gay double entendres into this because of my own obstinate bias, but on page 110 the Cambridge School edition there's a quote from Polish director Konrad Swinarski which says "the whole story between Bertram and Parolles is really a homosexual story, which is based on the intrigue of Lafew to get Parolles for himself, and to deliver Bertram from Parolles," which is not exactly the story I thought of but close enough, right? The funny thing is that at some point during act III, the activity is to think about the relationship between Bertram and Parolles--which one is older? why does Bertram take up with Parolles and listen to him when he's clearly an ass?--and then tells you to turn to page 110 for "a suggestion you may not have thought of." OH I HAVE THOUGHT OF IT BUDDY. NO PROBLEM THERE.

'Go with me to my chamber, and advise me' (lines 244-end) As if Shakespeare saw me considering the gay subtext and then dismissing it as probably just me, he has Bertram storm back on after Lafew's left and Parolles immediately says, "What's the matter, sweet heart?" SWEET HEART. I don't think I've even written slash where the boys call each other "sweet heart." It is TOO GAY. Bertram promises Parolles fervently that, though he has been made to wed Helena, he'll never bed her. Oy.