Laura Hughes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lauraredcloud) wrote2008-07-29 09:09 am
lauraredcloud) wrote2008-07-29 09:09 am
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All's Well That Ends Well 5.3: All's Well That... Hm. Huh.
Okay, last segment. I have been putting this off because I don't think I have anything to say but then, I usually find that I do.
At Rosillion, everyone (the king, the countess, Lafew) mourns Helena. Everyone's like, oh, woe is me, she was SO GREAT. Moving right along, the king approves a marriage between Bertram and Lafew's daughter, whose name, awesomely, is "Maudlin" (I wish she were a character in this play; I love maudlin!). Bertram gives a confusing speech the gist of which seems to be that he always like Maudlin better anyway, but then some stuff happened and um... La la la. The king tells Bertram to send a token to Maudlin, and Bertram selects his ring. Everyone is like GASP! Because that is the exact ring the king gave Helena earlier. There are a lot of rings in this play. I guess Shakespeare used to be like "Um, act V, need an act V... I'll just put in some rings."
Bertram makes a noble attempt at the difficult task of explaining where he got the ring (Paraphrase: It was thrown to me from a window by a girl! Who, um... I did not sleep with. I was like, Dude, I am totally married. Yes. But thank you.) The king insists Helena wouldn't have given up the ring willingly, except in bed (he really says this. But Bertram was her husband, so that makes sense, right? I guess he widely publicized that he never slept with her). Bertram insists that since he never slept with Helena, he can't possibly have gotten the ring from her (because he obvs. got the ring from a girl he slept with - O Bertram, have a consistent story, won't you?)
The Gentle Astringer! I love that guy. Oh, he just delivers a letter and leaves forever. The letter is from Diana, saying that Bertram slept with her and promised to marry her, and now that he is a widower, she wants to make good on the deal. Lafew promptly rescinds the offer of his daughter, as well he should. Diana arrives just after her letter (WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE ASTRINGER), confirming its contents and showing the ring SHE has (the one Bertram charged Helena to get off his finger? I though the point of that was--oh, never mind.) Parolles shows up to confirm the story. My question is, why is Diana continuing to claim she slept with Bertram when she didn't? She starts speaking in confusing riddles, the upshot of which are (1) Bertram is guilty and yet not guilty of cheating on his wife (I THINK HE IS PRETTY MUCH GUILTY); (2) Bertram got the king's ring from the girl he slept with, but Diana never gave it to him; (3) somebody dead is pregnant.
Helena makes her big entrance. Everyone is wowed. She's like, okay! You told me to get your ring and get pregnant with your baby, check and check! Bertram is like, right. You win. The king figures out that Diana is not the soldier-camp-slut she made herself out to be for some reason, and tells her to have her pick of husbands (because we all know how well that turns out.)
Which brings us to...
QUESTION OF THE DAY Did all end well?
This scene more than any other really brings out what a lying scuzzball Bertram is; what's more, he gets completely caught in his lies. Helena technically "wins" him (twice, as she points out), but by the end of the play, it's proven that he's a pretty lame prize. There's very little evidence that he cares anything about Helena, or is impressed by her in any way, or that their marriage will be any better in the future.
Bertram sucks, but I also have sympathy with him. He's been put in an awful position, and he's a little whiny bitch about it, but really, what is he supposed to do? He's tethered against his will to someone he doesn't want to be with; of course he's going to cheat on her. If she refuses to give him his dearly-desired walking papers no matter how awful he is to her, it's really her own fault.
Helena is so focused on jumping through the hoops and manipulating the letter of the "challenge" that he's set that she doesn't seem to question whether she even wants him anymore. It's like he's no longer a person to her (if he ever was), but a prize to be won. Belle hated that attitude in Gaston, so I don't see why we are supposed to sympathize with it in Helena.
So I guess these assholes deserve each other, but it still makes a pretty unsatisfying ending.
Things ended pretty well for Maudlin, though, I guess. And the Gentleman Astringer is no worse off.
At Rosillion, everyone (the king, the countess, Lafew) mourns Helena. Everyone's like, oh, woe is me, she was SO GREAT. Moving right along, the king approves a marriage between Bertram and Lafew's daughter, whose name, awesomely, is "Maudlin" (I wish she were a character in this play; I love maudlin!). Bertram gives a confusing speech the gist of which seems to be that he always like Maudlin better anyway, but then some stuff happened and um... La la la. The king tells Bertram to send a token to Maudlin, and Bertram selects his ring. Everyone is like GASP! Because that is the exact ring the king gave Helena earlier. There are a lot of rings in this play. I guess Shakespeare used to be like "Um, act V, need an act V... I'll just put in some rings."
Bertram makes a noble attempt at the difficult task of explaining where he got the ring (Paraphrase: It was thrown to me from a window by a girl! Who, um... I did not sleep with. I was like, Dude, I am totally married. Yes. But thank you.) The king insists Helena wouldn't have given up the ring willingly, except in bed (he really says this. But Bertram was her husband, so that makes sense, right? I guess he widely publicized that he never slept with her). Bertram insists that since he never slept with Helena, he can't possibly have gotten the ring from her (because he obvs. got the ring from a girl he slept with - O Bertram, have a consistent story, won't you?)
The Gentle Astringer! I love that guy. Oh, he just delivers a letter and leaves forever. The letter is from Diana, saying that Bertram slept with her and promised to marry her, and now that he is a widower, she wants to make good on the deal. Lafew promptly rescinds the offer of his daughter, as well he should. Diana arrives just after her letter (WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE ASTRINGER), confirming its contents and showing the ring SHE has (the one Bertram charged Helena to get off his finger? I though the point of that was--oh, never mind.) Parolles shows up to confirm the story. My question is, why is Diana continuing to claim she slept with Bertram when she didn't? She starts speaking in confusing riddles, the upshot of which are (1) Bertram is guilty and yet not guilty of cheating on his wife (I THINK HE IS PRETTY MUCH GUILTY); (2) Bertram got the king's ring from the girl he slept with, but Diana never gave it to him; (3) somebody dead is pregnant.
Helena makes her big entrance. Everyone is wowed. She's like, okay! You told me to get your ring and get pregnant with your baby, check and check! Bertram is like, right. You win. The king figures out that Diana is not the soldier-camp-slut she made herself out to be for some reason, and tells her to have her pick of husbands (because we all know how well that turns out.)
Which brings us to...
QUESTION OF THE DAY Did all end well?
This scene more than any other really brings out what a lying scuzzball Bertram is; what's more, he gets completely caught in his lies. Helena technically "wins" him (twice, as she points out), but by the end of the play, it's proven that he's a pretty lame prize. There's very little evidence that he cares anything about Helena, or is impressed by her in any way, or that their marriage will be any better in the future.
Bertram sucks, but I also have sympathy with him. He's been put in an awful position, and he's a little whiny bitch about it, but really, what is he supposed to do? He's tethered against his will to someone he doesn't want to be with; of course he's going to cheat on her. If she refuses to give him his dearly-desired walking papers no matter how awful he is to her, it's really her own fault.
Helena is so focused on jumping through the hoops and manipulating the letter of the "challenge" that he's set that she doesn't seem to question whether she even wants him anymore. It's like he's no longer a person to her (if he ever was), but a prize to be won. Belle hated that attitude in Gaston, so I don't see why we are supposed to sympathize with it in Helena.
So I guess these assholes deserve each other, but it still makes a pretty unsatisfying ending.
Things ended pretty well for Maudlin, though, I guess. And the Gentleman Astringer is no worse off.