Laura Occasionally Blogs

I feel that the Disney princess marketing machine is missing an important trick. All Disney princess merchandise I look at (and I look at a lot--I am drawn to it) just shows the various princesses standing in a pack against a neutral background (pink castle, pink sparkles, Windows-background-style grassy knoll) each gazing at the camera with dead eyes and slack jaws, their hands spread before them in a gesture of vague surprise. What's missing? (I mean besides souls.)

Interaction! The girls are never interacting with each other. What's the point of putting them on the same interdimensional plane if they don't even look at each other? There's so much capacity for subtle commentary on the princesses' personalities and relationships. I don't demand that they be making out or Fight Clubbing--although either or both would be pretty badass--but just, you know, having conversations. Having a tea party. Which one would be the hostess? Which one would be helping pour out tea? Which one would be banished to the couch with her hands folded in her lap for breaking a cup, now trying to make awkward conversation? Which one would be randomly picking up a handy guitar and playing without asking? Which one would be snooping in the medicine cabinet? I really want you to answer.