Laura Occasionally Blogs

The possible security questions for my new bank are insane. First off, most of them are meant for people older than me ("Where did you meet your spouse?" "What is your spouse's mother's name?" "What is the name of your oldest nephew?") but even the information which exists, I don't know. I mean I would fail a test with questions like "How old was your father when you were born? (Answer in words.)" or "What is your paternal grandfather's"--wait for it--"middle name?"

And then they go and louse it all up by allowing you to choose "What is your favourite TV show?"--aren't these questions supposed to have stable, singular answers? For me, there is an always-changing pool of about twenty which rotate hourly--or "What is your favourite sport?" Come on now. Maybe it's the Canadian spelling that's the real tip-off, but I've never seen a more guessable question in all my life.

Here are some example questions which they could use to replace those.

"What was your favourite third cousin doing the moment Canada won the 1972 Summit Series?"
"Who is your tallest uncle? (Answer in a brief essay.)"
"What is your porn star name? (first pet's name + street you grew up on)"
"What name were your parents considering calling you if you were the opposite sex?"
"Can I wear your glasses?"
"What was the name of the first company ever CEO'd by your second oldest grandchild? (Answer in a series of sneezes.)"