Is America turning into Japan? I ask this because today I saw a little girl, about eight years old, with a T-shirt that read "ULTRA COOL DELICATE BABE." My question is, delicate?

I saw another T-shirt of note, but for a different reason. A large man with a handlebar moustache sported a shirt which read, in large, friendly letters

I Have A Drinking Problem

Underneath this, smaller, but still brightly-colored and easily readable:

Two Hands and Only One Mouth

And under this, in a tiny, simple black font,

(That's the problem.)

I appreciate the clarity.